From d0ff1b2d04fc0caf57d99f1d34ce13cf4aae6a1a Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Christine Dodrill Date: Wed, 27 Mar 2019 07:18:52 -0700 Subject: reorg: phase 1 --- blog/atom-as-vim-2014-11-18.markdown | 59 ++++++ blog/atom-as-vim-2014-11-18.md | 59 ------ blog/beego-2014-11-28.markdown | 71 ++++++++ blog/beego-2014-11-28.md | 71 -------- blog/blind-men-and-an-elephant-2018-11-29.markdown | 69 ++++++++ blog/blind-men-and-an-elephant-2018-11-29.md | 69 -------- blog/death-08-19-2018.markdown | 22 +++ blog/death-08-19-2018.md | 22 --- blog/dependency-hell-2014-11-20.markdown | 105 +++++++++++ blog/dependency-hell-2014-11-20.md | 105 ----------- ...ation-notice-elemental-ircd-2019-02-11.markdown | 23 +++ ...deprecation-notice-elemental-ircd-2019-02-11.md | 23 --- blog/dev-2014-10-24.markdown | 46 +++++ blog/dev-2014-10-24.md | 46 ----- blog/fear-07-24-2018.markdown | 155 ++++++++++++++++ blog/fear-07-24-2018.md | 155 ---------------- blog/gratitude-07-20-2018.markdown | 66 +++++++ blog/gratitude-07-20-2018.md | 66 ------- blog/mpd-docker-2014-10-20.markdown | 26 +++ blog/mpd-docker-2014-10-20.md | 26 --- ...er-in-dates-titles-salaries-2019-03-14.markdown | 64 +++++++ ...y-career-in-dates-titles-salaries-2019-03-14.md | 64 ------- blog/old-articles-2019-01-17.markdown | 16 ++ blog/old-articles-2019-01-17.md | 16 -- ...ogressive-webapp-conversion-2019-01-26.markdown | 197 +++++++++++++++++++++ blog/progressive-webapp-conversion-2019-01-26.md | 197 --------------------- blog/voiding-the-interview-2017-04-16.markdown | 153 ++++++++++++++++ blog/voiding-the-interview-2017-04-16.md | 153 ---------------- blog/when-then-zen-2019-01-20.markdown | 135 ++++++++++++++ blog/when-then-zen-2019-01-20.md | 135 -------------- cmd/site/hash.go | 14 -- cmd/site/html.go | 10 +- cmd/site/main.go | 171 +++--------------- cmd/site/rss.go | 47 +++-- go.mod | 2 - go.sum | 4 - internal/blog/blog.go | 98 ++++++++++ internal/blog/blog_test.go | 12 ++ internal/hash.go | 14 ++ internal/middleware/metrics.go | 43 +++++ internal/middleware/requestid.go | 31 ++++ 41 files changed, 1470 insertions(+), 1390 deletions(-) create mode 100644 blog/atom-as-vim-2014-11-18.markdown delete mode 100644 blog/atom-as-vim-2014-11-18.md create mode 100644 blog/beego-2014-11-28.markdown delete mode 100644 blog/beego-2014-11-28.md create mode 100644 blog/blind-men-and-an-elephant-2018-11-29.markdown delete mode 100644 blog/blind-men-and-an-elephant-2018-11-29.md create mode 100644 blog/death-08-19-2018.markdown delete mode 100644 blog/death-08-19-2018.md create mode 100644 blog/dependency-hell-2014-11-20.markdown delete mode 100644 blog/dependency-hell-2014-11-20.md create mode 100644 blog/deprecation-notice-elemental-ircd-2019-02-11.markdown delete mode 100644 blog/deprecation-notice-elemental-ircd-2019-02-11.md create mode 100644 blog/dev-2014-10-24.markdown delete mode 100644 blog/dev-2014-10-24.md create mode 100644 blog/fear-07-24-2018.markdown delete mode 100644 blog/fear-07-24-2018.md create mode 100644 blog/gratitude-07-20-2018.markdown delete mode 100644 blog/gratitude-07-20-2018.md create mode 100644 blog/mpd-docker-2014-10-20.markdown delete mode 100644 blog/mpd-docker-2014-10-20.md create mode 100644 blog/my-career-in-dates-titles-salaries-2019-03-14.markdown delete mode 100644 blog/my-career-in-dates-titles-salaries-2019-03-14.md create mode 100644 blog/old-articles-2019-01-17.markdown delete mode 100644 blog/old-articles-2019-01-17.md create mode 100644 blog/progressive-webapp-conversion-2019-01-26.markdown delete mode 100644 blog/progressive-webapp-conversion-2019-01-26.md create mode 100644 blog/voiding-the-interview-2017-04-16.markdown delete mode 100644 blog/voiding-the-interview-2017-04-16.md create mode 100644 blog/when-then-zen-2019-01-20.markdown delete mode 100644 blog/when-then-zen-2019-01-20.md delete mode 100644 cmd/site/hash.go create mode 100644 internal/blog/blog.go create mode 100644 internal/blog/blog_test.go create mode 100644 internal/hash.go create mode 100644 internal/middleware/metrics.go create mode 100644 internal/middleware/requestid.go diff --git a/blog/atom-as-vim-2014-11-18.markdown b/blog/atom-as-vim-2014-11-18.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..87749ad --- /dev/null +++ b/blog/atom-as-vim-2014-11-18.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,59 @@ +--- +title: My Experience with Atom as A Vim User +date: 2014-11-18 +from: medium +--- + +My Experience with Atom as A Vim User +===================================== + +Historically, I am a Vim user. People know me as a very very heavy vim +user. I have spent almost the last two years customizing [my .vimrc +file](https://github.com/Xe/dotfiles/blob/master/.vimrc) and I have parts +of it mapped to the ways I think. Recently I have acquired both a Mac Pro +and a Surface Pro 3, and my vim configuration didn't work on them. For a +while I had used Docker and the image I made of my preferred dev +environment to shim and hack around this. + +Then I took a fresh look at [Atom](https://atom.io/){.markup--anchor +.markup--p-anchor}, Github's text editor that claims to be a replacment +for Sublime. Since then I have moved to using Atom as my main text +editor for programming in OSX and Windows, but still using my fine-tuned +vim setup in Linux. I like how I have Atom set up. It uses a lot of (but +not all sadly) the features I have come to love in my vim setup. + +I also like that I can have the same setup on both my Mac and in +Windows. I have the same +[vim-mode](https://github.com/atom/vim-mode) bindings on both my machines +(I only customize so far as to add :w and :q bindings), and easily jump +from one to the other with Synergy and have little to no issues with +editor differences. I typically end up taking my surface out with me to +a lot of places and will code some new ideas on the bus or in the food +court of the mall. + +Atom gets a lot of things right with the plugins I have. I have +Autocomplete+ and a plugin for it that uses GoCode for autocompletion as +I type like I have with vim-go and YouCompleteMe in Vim. Its native +pacakge support and extensibility is bar none the easiest way to be able +to add things to the editor I have ever seen. + +But there are problems with Atom that are mostly based on my usage of +text editors and my understanding of programming with Javascript, +Coffeescript, HTML and CSS. Atom is a mostly Coffeescript editor, it +does mean that at runtime I can customize almost any aspect of the +editor, but I would have to learn one if not 5 more languages to be able +to describe the layouts or interfaces I would like to add to this +editor. It also being a hybrid between a web application and a normal +desktop application means that I am afraid to add things I normally +would such as raw socket support for being able to collaborate on a +single document, PiratePad style. Additionally, the Vim emulation mode +in Atom doesn't support ex-style :-commands nor \, meaning that +a fair bit of my editing is toned down and done more manually to make up +for this. + +I wish I could just use vim natively with my preferred setup on Windows, +OSX and Linux, but for now Atom is the lesser of all the evils. + +--- + +Update: I am now atom-free on my surface pro 3 diff --git a/blog/atom-as-vim-2014-11-18.md b/blog/atom-as-vim-2014-11-18.md deleted file mode 100644 index 87749ad..0000000 --- a/blog/atom-as-vim-2014-11-18.md +++ /dev/null @@ -1,59 +0,0 @@ ---- -title: My Experience with Atom as A Vim User -date: 2014-11-18 -from: medium ---- - -My Experience with Atom as A Vim User -===================================== - -Historically, I am a Vim user. People know me as a very very heavy vim -user. I have spent almost the last two years customizing [my .vimrc -file](https://github.com/Xe/dotfiles/blob/master/.vimrc) and I have parts -of it mapped to the ways I think. Recently I have acquired both a Mac Pro -and a Surface Pro 3, and my vim configuration didn't work on them. For a -while I had used Docker and the image I made of my preferred dev -environment to shim and hack around this. - -Then I took a fresh look at [Atom](https://atom.io/){.markup--anchor -.markup--p-anchor}, Github's text editor that claims to be a replacment -for Sublime. Since then I have moved to using Atom as my main text -editor for programming in OSX and Windows, but still using my fine-tuned -vim setup in Linux. I like how I have Atom set up. It uses a lot of (but -not all sadly) the features I have come to love in my vim setup. - -I also like that I can have the same setup on both my Mac and in -Windows. I have the same -[vim-mode](https://github.com/atom/vim-mode) bindings on both my machines -(I only customize so far as to add :w and :q bindings), and easily jump -from one to the other with Synergy and have little to no issues with -editor differences. I typically end up taking my surface out with me to -a lot of places and will code some new ideas on the bus or in the food -court of the mall. - -Atom gets a lot of things right with the plugins I have. I have -Autocomplete+ and a plugin for it that uses GoCode for autocompletion as -I type like I have with vim-go and YouCompleteMe in Vim. Its native -pacakge support and extensibility is bar none the easiest way to be able -to add things to the editor I have ever seen. - -But there are problems with Atom that are mostly based on my usage of -text editors and my understanding of programming with Javascript, -Coffeescript, HTML and CSS. Atom is a mostly Coffeescript editor, it -does mean that at runtime I can customize almost any aspect of the -editor, but I would have to learn one if not 5 more languages to be able -to describe the layouts or interfaces I would like to add to this -editor. It also being a hybrid between a web application and a normal -desktop application means that I am afraid to add things I normally -would such as raw socket support for being able to collaborate on a -single document, PiratePad style. Additionally, the Vim emulation mode -in Atom doesn't support ex-style :-commands nor \, meaning that -a fair bit of my editing is toned down and done more manually to make up -for this. - -I wish I could just use vim natively with my preferred setup on Windows, -OSX and Linux, but for now Atom is the lesser of all the evils. - ---- - -Update: I am now atom-free on my surface pro 3 diff --git a/blog/beego-2014-11-28.markdown b/blog/beego-2014-11-28.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4e950c0 --- /dev/null +++ b/blog/beego-2014-11-28.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,71 @@ +--- +title: Web Application Development with Beego +date: 2014-11-28 +--- + +Web Application Development with Beego +====================================== + +Beego is a fantastic web application framework from the Go China +community. It currently powers some of the biggest websites in China, +and thus the world. + +Let's get started. For now I am going to assume you are running OSX or +Linux. Getting Beego set up on Windows with the sqlite driver is +nontrivial at best due to Windows being terrible. + +### Installing Beego + +The Beego developers have made a tool called bee for easier managing of +Beego projects. To install it, run: + +``` +go get github.com/beego/bee +go get github.com/astaxie/beego +``` + +The `bee` tool will be present in `$GOPATH/bin`. Please make sure this +folder is in your `$PATH` or things will not work. + +### Creating a Project + +Navigate to a directory in your `$GOPATH` and run the command `bee new +quickstart`: + +![](https://d262ilb51hltx0.cloudfront.net/max/800/1*ATTbb_23WVmxgoFweXSXQg.png) + +The `bee` tool created all the scaffolding we needed for our example +program. Change into that directory and run `bee run`. Your +application will be served on port 8080. + +![](https://d262ilb51hltx0.cloudfront.net/max/800/1*DG8Tl71KXYdiddV1x6m0GQ.png) + +Now let's take a look at the parts of Beego that are in use. Beego is a +typical MVC style framework so there are 3 basic places you may need to +edit code: + +The Models are Beego's powerful database-backed models (we'll get into +those in a little bit), the Views are normal Go +[html/template](https://godoc.org/html/template)s, and +the Controllers are the Go code that controls the Views based on the Models. + +![](https://d262ilb51hltx0.cloudfront.net/max/600/1*EZ1qIqeXNW_NfKuLbudogA.png) + +New Beego projects use Beego's default HTTP router, which is similar to +Sinatra or Tornado. The default router is very simple. It will only +route `/` to the MainController that was generated for you: + +![](https://d262ilb51hltx0.cloudfront.net/max/800/1*t_oEyk6kSa1Y940m2fnwmg.png) + +The main file will shadow-include the router package which will seed the +Beego router with your paths and site content. The MainController will +embed beego.Controller so it acquires all instance methods that a Beego +controller needs. Beego's controllers offer many methods that could be +used based on different HTTP verbs, but this simple example only +overrides the GET verb to serve the site. The data that will be passed +to the template is a `map[string]interface{}` as c.Data. The last line +tells Beego what template to render for the page, in this case +"index.tpl". If you don't set the template it will default to +"controller/method\_name.tpl" where method\_name is the method that was +called on the controller. In this example it would be +"maincontroller/get.tpl" diff --git a/blog/beego-2014-11-28.md b/blog/beego-2014-11-28.md deleted file mode 100644 index 4e950c0..0000000 --- a/blog/beego-2014-11-28.md +++ /dev/null @@ -1,71 +0,0 @@ ---- -title: Web Application Development with Beego -date: 2014-11-28 ---- - -Web Application Development with Beego -====================================== - -Beego is a fantastic web application framework from the Go China -community. It currently powers some of the biggest websites in China, -and thus the world. - -Let's get started. For now I am going to assume you are running OSX or -Linux. Getting Beego set up on Windows with the sqlite driver is -nontrivial at best due to Windows being terrible. - -### Installing Beego - -The Beego developers have made a tool called bee for easier managing of -Beego projects. To install it, run: - -``` -go get github.com/beego/bee -go get github.com/astaxie/beego -``` - -The `bee` tool will be present in `$GOPATH/bin`. Please make sure this -folder is in your `$PATH` or things will not work. - -### Creating a Project - -Navigate to a directory in your `$GOPATH` and run the command `bee new -quickstart`: - -![](https://d262ilb51hltx0.cloudfront.net/max/800/1*ATTbb_23WVmxgoFweXSXQg.png) - -The `bee` tool created all the scaffolding we needed for our example -program. Change into that directory and run `bee run`. Your -application will be served on port 8080. - -![](https://d262ilb51hltx0.cloudfront.net/max/800/1*DG8Tl71KXYdiddV1x6m0GQ.png) - -Now let's take a look at the parts of Beego that are in use. Beego is a -typical MVC style framework so there are 3 basic places you may need to -edit code: - -The Models are Beego's powerful database-backed models (we'll get into -those in a little bit), the Views are normal Go -[html/template](https://godoc.org/html/template)s, and -the Controllers are the Go code that controls the Views based on the Models. - -![](https://d262ilb51hltx0.cloudfront.net/max/600/1*EZ1qIqeXNW_NfKuLbudogA.png) - -New Beego projects use Beego's default HTTP router, which is similar to -Sinatra or Tornado. The default router is very simple. It will only -route `/` to the MainController that was generated for you: - -![](https://d262ilb51hltx0.cloudfront.net/max/800/1*t_oEyk6kSa1Y940m2fnwmg.png) - -The main file will shadow-include the router package which will seed the -Beego router with your paths and site content. The MainController will -embed beego.Controller so it acquires all instance methods that a Beego -controller needs. Beego's controllers offer many methods that could be -used based on different HTTP verbs, but this simple example only -overrides the GET verb to serve the site. The data that will be passed -to the template is a `map[string]interface{}` as c.Data. The last line -tells Beego what template to render for the page, in this case -"index.tpl". If you don't set the template it will default to -"controller/method\_name.tpl" where method\_name is the method that was -called on the controller. In this example it would be -"maincontroller/get.tpl" diff --git a/blog/blind-men-and-an-elephant-2018-11-29.markdown b/blog/blind-men-and-an-elephant-2018-11-29.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b33e6fb --- /dev/null +++ b/blog/blind-men-and-an-elephant-2018-11-29.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,69 @@ +--- +title: "Blind Men and an Elephant" +date: 2018-11-29 +--- + +# Blind Men and an Elephant + +or + +# le'i ka na viska kakne ku e le xanto + +[Adapted from here](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blind_men_and_an_elephant). Done in Lojban to help learn the language. I am avoiding the urge to make too many lujvo (compound words) because the rafsi (compound word components) don't always immediately relate to the words in question in obvious ways. + +| [KOhA4](http://lojban.org/publications/cll/cll_v1.1_xhtml-section-chunks/section-koha-broda-series.html) | lojban | english | +| --- | --- | --- | +| ko'a | le'i na viska kakne | the blind people | +| ko'e | le xanto | the elephant | +| ko'i | le cizra danlu | the strange animal | + +A group of blind men heard that a strange animal, called an elephant, had been brought to the town, but none of them were aware of its shape and form. + +> ni'o le'i na viska kakne goi ko'a e le xanto goi ko'e +> .i ko'a cu ti'erna lo nu cizra danlu goi ko'i noi ko'e cu se bevri fi lo tcadu +> .i ku'i no ko'a cu sanji lo tarmi be ko'i + +Out of curiosity, they said: "We must inspect and know it by touch, of which we are capable". + +> .i .a'u ko'a dai cusku lu .ei ma'a pencu lanli le danlu sei ma'a kakne li'u + +So, they sought it out, and when they found it they groped about it. + +> ni'o ro ko'a cu sisku ko'i +> .i ro ko'a cu sisku penmi ko'i +> .i ro ko'a ca pencu lo drata stuzi ko'i + +In the case of the first person, whose hand landed on the trunk, said "This being is like a thick snake". + +> .i pa ko'a cu pencu lo ko'i betfu +> .i pa ko'a cu cusku lu ti cu rotsu since li'u + +For another one whose hand reached its ear, it seemed like a kind of fan. + +> .i re ko'a cu pencu lo ko'i kerlo +> .i re ko'a cu cusku lu ti cu falnu li'u + +As for another person, whose hand was upon its leg, said, the elephant is a pillar like a tree-trunk. + +> .i ci ko'a cu pencu lo ko'i tuple +> .i ci ko'a cu cusku lu ti cu tricu stani li'u + +The blind man who placed his hand upon its side said, "elephant is a wall". + +> .i vo ko'a cu pencu lo ko'i mlana +> .i vo ko'a cu cusku lu ti cu butmu li'u + +Another who felt its tail, described it as a rope. + +> .i mu ko'a cu pencu lo ko'i rebla +> .i mu ko'a cu cusku lu ti cu skori li'u + +The last felt its tusk, stating the elephant is that which is hard, smooth and like a spear. + +> .i xa ko'a cu pencu lo ko'i denci +> .i xa ko'a cu cusku lu ti cu jdari e xulta li'u + +All of the men spoke fact about the elephant, but none of them spoke the truth. + +> .i ro ko'a cu fatci tavla fi ko'e +> .i jeku'i no ko'a cu jetnu tavla fi ko'e diff --git a/blog/blind-men-and-an-elephant-2018-11-29.md b/blog/blind-men-and-an-elephant-2018-11-29.md deleted file mode 100644 index b33e6fb..0000000 --- a/blog/blind-men-and-an-elephant-2018-11-29.md +++ /dev/null @@ -1,69 +0,0 @@ ---- -title: "Blind Men and an Elephant" -date: 2018-11-29 ---- - -# Blind Men and an Elephant - -or - -# le'i ka na viska kakne ku e le xanto - -[Adapted from here](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blind_men_and_an_elephant). Done in Lojban to help learn the language. I am avoiding the urge to make too many lujvo (compound words) because the rafsi (compound word components) don't always immediately relate to the words in question in obvious ways. - -| [KOhA4](http://lojban.org/publications/cll/cll_v1.1_xhtml-section-chunks/section-koha-broda-series.html) | lojban | english | -| --- | --- | --- | -| ko'a | le'i na viska kakne | the blind people | -| ko'e | le xanto | the elephant | -| ko'i | le cizra danlu | the strange animal | - -A group of blind men heard that a strange animal, called an elephant, had been brought to the town, but none of them were aware of its shape and form. - -> ni'o le'i na viska kakne goi ko'a e le xanto goi ko'e -> .i ko'a cu ti'erna lo nu cizra danlu goi ko'i noi ko'e cu se bevri fi lo tcadu -> .i ku'i no ko'a cu sanji lo tarmi be ko'i - -Out of curiosity, they said: "We must inspect and know it by touch, of which we are capable". - -> .i .a'u ko'a dai cusku lu .ei ma'a pencu lanli le danlu sei ma'a kakne li'u - -So, they sought it out, and when they found it they groped about it. - -> ni'o ro ko'a cu sisku ko'i -> .i ro ko'a cu sisku penmi ko'i -> .i ro ko'a ca pencu lo drata stuzi ko'i - -In the case of the first person, whose hand landed on the trunk, said "This being is like a thick snake". - -> .i pa ko'a cu pencu lo ko'i betfu -> .i pa ko'a cu cusku lu ti cu rotsu since li'u - -For another one whose hand reached its ear, it seemed like a kind of fan. - -> .i re ko'a cu pencu lo ko'i kerlo -> .i re ko'a cu cusku lu ti cu falnu li'u - -As for another person, whose hand was upon its leg, said, the elephant is a pillar like a tree-trunk. - -> .i ci ko'a cu pencu lo ko'i tuple -> .i ci ko'a cu cusku lu ti cu tricu stani li'u - -The blind man who placed his hand upon its side said, "elephant is a wall". - -> .i vo ko'a cu pencu lo ko'i mlana -> .i vo ko'a cu cusku lu ti cu butmu li'u - -Another who felt its tail, described it as a rope. - -> .i mu ko'a cu pencu lo ko'i rebla -> .i mu ko'a cu cusku lu ti cu skori li'u - -The last felt its tusk, stating the elephant is that which is hard, smooth and like a spear. - -> .i xa ko'a cu pencu lo ko'i denci -> .i xa ko'a cu cusku lu ti cu jdari e xulta li'u - -All of the men spoke fact about the elephant, but none of them spoke the truth. - -> .i ro ko'a cu fatci tavla fi ko'e -> .i jeku'i no ko'a cu jetnu tavla fi ko'e diff --git a/blog/death-08-19-2018.markdown b/blog/death-08-19-2018.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..27c1b1c --- /dev/null +++ b/blog/death-08-19-2018.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,22 @@ +--- +title: Death +date: 2018-08-19 +thanks: Sygma +--- + +# Death + +Death is a very misunderstood card in Tarot, but not for the reasons you'd think. Societally, many people think that this life is the only shot at existence they get. Afterwards, there is nothing. Nonexistence. Oblivion. This makes death a very touchy subject for a lot of people, so much so it forms a social taboo and an unhealthy relationship with death. People start seeing death as something they need to fight back and hold away by removing what makes themselves human, just to hold off what they believe is their obliteration. + +Tarot does not see death in this way. Death, the skeleton knight wearing armor, does not see color, race or creed, thus he is depicted as a skeleton. He is riding towards a child and another younger person. The sun is rising in the distance, but even it cannot stop Death. Nor can royalty, as shown by the king under him, dead. + +
![](/static/img/tarot_death.jpg)
+ +Death, however, does not actually refer to the act of a physical body physically dying. Death is a change that cannot be reverted. The consequences of this change can and will affect what comes next, however. + +Consider the very deep sea, so far down even light can't penetrate that deep. There's an ecosystem of life down there, but it is so starved for resources and light that evolution has skimped out on things like skin pigmentation. Sometimes a mighty whale will die and its body will fall to the sea floor down there. The creatures will feast for a month or more. The whale died, yet its change fosters an entire ecosystem. This card signifies much of the same. Death signifies the idea of a change from the old, where the whale was alive, to the new, where the whale's body feeds an entire community. + +Death is a signifier that change is coming or needed, and it won't care if you're ready for it or not. So, embrace it with open arms. Don't fight what is inevitable. All good things must come to an end for them to be good to begin with. + +Death is a part of life like any other; this is why it is in the Fool's Journey, or Major Arcana of the Tarot. To eschew death is, in essence, to throw out life itself. Living in fear of death turns life from a glorious dance of cocreation with the universe into a fearful existence of scraping by on the margins. It makes life an anxious scampering from measly scrap of food to measly scrap of food without any time to focus on the higher order of things. It makes you accept fear, depression, anxiety and regret instead of just being able to live here, in the moment, and make the best of what you have right now. If only because right now you still have it. + diff --git a/blog/death-08-19-2018.md b/blog/death-08-19-2018.md deleted file mode 100644 index 27c1b1c..0000000 --- a/blog/death-08-19-2018.md +++ /dev/null @@ -1,22 +0,0 @@ ---- -title: Death -date: 2018-08-19 -thanks: Sygma ---- - -# Death - -Death is a very misunderstood card in Tarot, but not for the reasons you'd think. Societally, many people think that this life is the only shot at existence they get. Afterwards, there is nothing. Nonexistence. Oblivion. This makes death a very touchy subject for a lot of people, so much so it forms a social taboo and an unhealthy relationship with death. People start seeing death as something they need to fight back and hold away by removing what makes themselves human, just to hold off what they believe is their obliteration. - -Tarot does not see death in this way. Death, the skeleton knight wearing armor, does not see color, race or creed, thus he is depicted as a skeleton. He is riding towards a child and another younger person. The sun is rising in the distance, but even it cannot stop Death. Nor can royalty, as shown by the king under him, dead. - -
![](/static/img/tarot_death.jpg)
- -Death, however, does not actually refer to the act of a physical body physically dying. Death is a change that cannot be reverted. The consequences of this change can and will affect what comes next, however. - -Consider the very deep sea, so far down even light can't penetrate that deep. There's an ecosystem of life down there, but it is so starved for resources and light that evolution has skimped out on things like skin pigmentation. Sometimes a mighty whale will die and its body will fall to the sea floor down there. The creatures will feast for a month or more. The whale died, yet its change fosters an entire ecosystem. This card signifies much of the same. Death signifies the idea of a change from the old, where the whale was alive, to the new, where the whale's body feeds an entire community. - -Death is a signifier that change is coming or needed, and it won't care if you're ready for it or not. So, embrace it with open arms. Don't fight what is inevitable. All good things must come to an end for them to be good to begin with. - -Death is a part of life like any other; this is why it is in the Fool's Journey, or Major Arcana of the Tarot. To eschew death is, in essence, to throw out life itself. Living in fear of death turns life from a glorious dance of cocreation with the universe into a fearful existence of scraping by on the margins. It makes life an anxious scampering from measly scrap of food to measly scrap of food without any time to focus on the higher order of things. It makes you accept fear, depression, anxiety and regret instead of just being able to live here, in the moment, and make the best of what you have right now. If only because right now you still have it. - diff --git a/blog/dependency-hell-2014-11-20.markdown b/blog/dependency-hell-2014-11-20.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f9eab55 --- /dev/null +++ b/blog/dependency-hell-2014-11-20.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,105 @@ +--- +title: Dependency Hell +date: 2014-11-20 +--- + +Dependency Hell +=============== + +A lot of the problem that I have run into when doing development with +nearly any stack I have used is dependency management. This relatively +simple-looking problem just becomes such an evil, evil thing to tackle. +There are several schools of thought to this. The first is that +dependencies need to be frozen the second you ever see them and are only +upgraded once in a blue moon when upstream introduces a feature you need +or has a CVE released. The second is to have competent maintainers +upstream that follow things like semantic versioning. + +### Ruby + +Let's take a look at how the Ruby community solves this problem. + +One job I had made us need to install **five** versions of the Ruby +interpreter in order to be compatible with all the different projects +they wrote. To manage the five versions of the Ruby interpreter, they +suggested using a widely known tool called +[rbenv](https://github.com/sstephenson/rbenv). + +This isn't actually the full list of rubies that job required. I have +decided not to reveal that out of interest of privacy as well as the +fact that even Gentoo did not ship a version of gcc old enough to build +the oldest ruby. + +After all this, of course, all the dependencies are locked using the gem +tool and another helper called bundler. It's just a mess. + +There are also language design features of ruby that really do not help +with this all that just make simple things like "will this code run or +not" be determined at runtime. To be fair, Python is the same way, as is +nearly every other scripting language. In the case of Lua this is +*beyond vital* because of the fact that Lua is designed to be embedded +into pretty much anything, with arbitrary globals being set willy-nilly. +Consequently this is why you can't make an autocomplete for lua without +executing the code in its preferred environment (unless you really just +guess based on the requires and other files present in the directory). + +### Python + +The Python community has largely copied the ruby pattern for this, but +they advocate creating local, project-specific prefixes with all of the +packages/eggs you installed and a list of them instead of compiling an +entire Python interpreter per project. With the Python 2-\>3 change a +lot of things did break. This is okay. There was a major version bump. +Of course compiled modules would need to be redone after a change like +that. I think the way that Python handles Unicode in version 3 is ideal +and should be an example for other languages. + +Virtualenv and pip is not as bad as using bundler and gem for Ruby. +Virtualenv very clearly makes changes to your environment variables that +are easy to compare and inspect. This is in contrast to the ruby tools +that encourage global modifications of your shell and supercede the +packaged versions of the language interpreter. + +The sad part is that I see [this pattern of senseless locking of +versions continuing +elsewhere](https://github.com/tools/godep) instead of proper +maintenance of libraries and projects. + +### Insanity + +To make matters worse, people suggest you actually embed all the source +code for every dependency inside the repository. Meaning your commit +graphs and code line counts are skewed based on the contents of your +upstream packages instead of just the code you wrote. Admittedly, +locking dependencies like this does mean that fantastic language level +tools such as [go +get](https://golang.org/cmd/go/#hdr-Download_and_install_packages_and_dependencies) +work again, but overall it is just not worth the pain +of having to manually merge in patches from upstream (but if you do +think it is worth the pain contact me, I'm open for contract work) +making sure to change the file paths to match your changes. + +### The Solution + +I believe the solution to all this and something that needs to be a +wider community effort for users of all programming languages is the use +of a technique called [semantic +versioning](http://semver.org/). In +some lanaguages like Go where the [import paths are based on repository +paths](https://golang.org/doc/code.html#PackagePaths), this may mean that +a new major version has a different repository. This is okay. Backward +compatability is good. After you make a stable (1.0 or whathaveyou) +release, nothing should be ever taken away or changed in the public API. +If there needs to be a change in how something in the public API works, +you must keep backwards compatabilty. As soon as you take away or modify +something in the public API, you have just made a significant enough +change worthy of a major release. + +We need to make semver a de-facto standard in the community instead of +freezing things and making security patches hard to distribute. + +Also, use the standard library more. It's there for a reason. It doesn't +change much so the maintainers are assumed to be sane if you trust the +stability of the language. + +This is just my \$0.02. diff --git a/blog/dependency-hell-2014-11-20.md b/blog/dependency-hell-2014-11-20.md deleted file mode 100644 index f9eab55..0000000 --- a/blog/dependency-hell-2014-11-20.md +++ /dev/null @@ -1,105 +0,0 @@ ---- -title: Dependency Hell -date: 2014-11-20 ---- - -Dependency Hell -=============== - -A lot of the problem that I have run into when doing development with -nearly any stack I have used is dependency management. This relatively -simple-looking problem just becomes such an evil, evil thing to tackle. -There are several schools of thought to this. The first is that -dependencies need to be frozen the second you ever see them and are only -upgraded once in a blue moon when upstream introduces a feature you need -or has a CVE released. The second is to have competent maintainers -upstream that follow things like semantic versioning. - -### Ruby - -Let's take a look at how the Ruby community solves this problem. - -One job I had made us need to install **five** versions of the Ruby -interpreter in order to be compatible with all the different projects -they wrote. To manage the five versions of the Ruby interpreter, they -suggested using a widely known tool called -[rbenv](https://github.com/sstephenson/rbenv). - -This isn't actually the full list of rubies that job required. I have -decided not to reveal that out of interest of privacy as well as the -fact that even Gentoo did not ship a version of gcc old enough to build -the oldest ruby. - -After all this, of course, all the dependencies are locked using the gem -tool and another helper called bundler. It's just a mess. - -There are also language design features of ruby that really do not help -with this all that just make simple things like "will this code run or -not" be determined at runtime. To be fair, Python is the same way, as is -nearly every other scripting language. In the case of Lua this is -*beyond vital* because of the fact that Lua is designed to be embedded -into pretty much anything, with arbitrary globals being set willy-nilly. -Consequently this is why you can't make an autocomplete for lua without -executing the code in its preferred environment (unless you really just -guess based on the requires and other files present in the directory). - -### Python - -The Python community has largely copied the ruby pattern for this, but -they advocate creating local, project-specific prefixes with all of the -packages/eggs you installed and a list of them instead of compiling an -entire Python interpreter per project. With the Python 2-\>3 change a -lot of things did break. This is okay. There was a major version bump. -Of course compiled modules would need to be redone after a change like -that. I think the way that Python handles Unicode in version 3 is ideal -and should be an example for other languages. - -Virtualenv and pip is not as bad as using bundler and gem for Ruby. -Virtualenv very clearly makes changes to your environment variables that -are easy to compare and inspect. This is in contrast to the ruby tools -that encourage global modifications of your shell and supercede the -packaged versions of the language interpreter. - -The sad part is that I see [this pattern of senseless locking of -versions continuing -elsewhere](https://github.com/tools/godep) instead of proper -maintenance of libraries and projects. - -### Insanity - -To make matters worse, people suggest you actually embed all the source -code for every dependency inside the repository. Meaning your commit -graphs and code line counts are skewed based on the contents of your -upstream packages instead of just the code you wrote. Admittedly, -locking dependencies like this does mean that fantastic language level -tools such as [go -get](https://golang.org/cmd/go/#hdr-Download_and_install_packages_and_dependencies) -work again, but overall it is just not worth the pain -of having to manually merge in patches from upstream (but if you do -think it is worth the pain contact me, I'm open for contract work) -making sure to change the file paths to match your changes. - -### The Solution - -I believe the solution to all this and something that needs to be a -wider community effort for users of all programming languages is the use -of a technique called [semantic -versioning](http://semver.org/). In -some lanaguages like Go where the [import paths are based on repository -paths](https://golang.org/doc/code.html#PackagePaths), this may mean that -a new major version has a different repository. This is okay. Backward -compatability is good. After you make a stable (1.0 or whathaveyou) -release, nothing should be ever taken away or changed in the public API. -If there needs to be a change in how something in the public API works, -you must keep backwards compatabilty. As soon as you take away or modify -something in the public API, you have just made a significant enough -change worthy of a major release. - -We need to make semver a de-facto standard in the community instead of -freezing things and making security patches hard to distribute. - -Also, use the standard library more. It's there for a reason. It doesn't -change much so the maintainers are assumed to be sane if you trust the -stability of the language. - -This is just my \$0.02. diff --git a/blog/deprecation-notice-elemental-ircd-2019-02-11.markdown b/blog/deprecation-notice-elemental-ircd-2019-02-11.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..067c472 --- /dev/null +++ b/blog/deprecation-notice-elemental-ircd-2019-02-11.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,23 @@ +--- +title: "Deprecation Notice: Elemental-IRCd" +date: 2019-02-11 +--- + +# Deprecation Notice: Elemental-IRCd + +[Elemental-IRCd](https://github.com/Elemental-IRCd/elemental-ircd) is a scalable, lightweight, high-performance IRC daemon written in C with heritage in the original IRC daemon. It is a fork of the now-defunct ShadowIRCD and sought to continue in the direction ShadowIRCD was headed. This software has scaled to support live chat for thousands of users at once in one->one and one->many groups. Working on this software has legitimately been a vital driving force to my career and skill balance between administration, development, moderation and operations of distirbuted communities at scale. Without this software, my closest friends (and even my fiancé) would be strangers to me. + +However, the result is something I don't know if I can continue to keep maintaining. It's been through a lot. The code has been through so many hands, some files had different licenses compared to the rest of the software. It is a patchwork of patches on top of a roughly solid core, and it's become a burden to maintain. + +I am no longer going to support Elemental-IRCd anymore. There are no longer any significant users of this daemon, as far as I know. If you are a user of this software and want to continue using it, please fork it if you need to make any changes. Also, thank you so much for using it. + +I have uploaded the final version of Elemental-IRCd to the [Docker Hub](https://hub.docker.com/r/xena/elemental-ircd). To use it: + +``` +$ docker pull xena/elemental-ircd +$ docker run --name elemental-ircd -p 6667:6667 +``` + +Then connect with an [IRC client](https://ircv3.github.io/software/clients.html) to `127.0.0.1:6667`. Connect other clients to that host+port and have them all join `#chat`. Nobody is going to be able to become an operator (via `/OPER`) because the [example config](https://github.com/Elemental-IRCd/elemental-ircd/blob/master/doc/example.conf#L267) won't allow it. If you can get it working though, the command to oper-up is `/OPER god powertrip`. + +Please don't choose this software if you are starting a new IRC network. diff --git a/blog/deprecation-notice-elemental-ircd-2019-02-11.md b/blog/deprecation-notice-elemental-ircd-2019-02-11.md deleted file mode 100644 index 067c472..0000000 --- a/blog/deprecation-notice-elemental-ircd-2019-02-11.md +++ /dev/null @@ -1,23 +0,0 @@ ---- -title: "Deprecation Notice: Elemental-IRCd" -date: 2019-02-11 ---- - -# Deprecation Notice: Elemental-IRCd - -[Elemental-IRCd](https://github.com/Elemental-IRCd/elemental-ircd) is a scalable, lightweight, high-performance IRC daemon written in C with heritage in the original IRC daemon. It is a fork of the now-defunct ShadowIRCD and sought to continue in the direction ShadowIRCD was headed. This software has scaled to support live chat for thousands of users at once in one->one and one->many groups. Working on this software has legitimately been a vital driving force to my career and skill balance between administration, development, moderation and operations of distirbuted communities at scale. Without this software, my closest friends (and even my fiancé) would be strangers to me. - -However, the result is something I don't know if I can continue to keep maintaining. It's been through a lot. The code has been through so many hands, some files had different licenses compared to the rest of the software. It is a patchwork of patches on top of a roughly solid core, and it's become a burden to maintain. - -I am no longer going to support Elemental-IRCd anymore. There are no longer any significant users of this daemon, as far as I know. If you are a user of this software and want to continue using it, please fork it if you need to make any changes. Also, thank you so much for using it. - -I have uploaded the final version of Elemental-IRCd to the [Docker Hub](https://hub.docker.com/r/xena/elemental-ircd). To use it: - -``` -$ docker pull xena/elemental-ircd -$ docker run --name elemental-ircd -p 6667:6667 -``` - -Then connect with an [IRC client](https://ircv3.github.io/software/clients.html) to `127.0.0.1:6667`. Connect other clients to that host+port and have them all join `#chat`. Nobody is going to be able to become an operator (via `/OPER`) because the [example config](https://github.com/Elemental-IRCd/elemental-ircd/blob/master/doc/example.conf#L267) won't allow it. If you can get it working though, the command to oper-up is `/OPER god powertrip`. - -Please don't choose this software if you are starting a new IRC network. diff --git a/blog/dev-2014-10-24.markdown b/blog/dev-2014-10-24.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..26232f6 --- /dev/null +++ b/blog/dev-2014-10-24.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,46 @@ +--- +title: Instant Development Environments in Docker +date: 2014-10-24 +--- + +Instant Development Environments in Docker +========================================== + +I have been using a few shell scripts for turbocharging development +using Docker and today I have released the first version of a simple +tool I call "[dev](https://github.com/Xe/dev)". Usage is very very simple. + +``` +$ dev up +Starting up container for spike +spike-dev (43c5c1) running! +To use this container please attach to it with: + $ docker attach spike-dev +$ docker attach spike-dev +docker:dev:spike ~ +--> +``` + +I have made a simple [asciinema +recording](https://asciinema.org/a/13158) describing the process of setting up and tearing down +these containers. The development environments have the code you are +working on mounted to \~/dev in the container. + +The containers are defined by a simple manifest file in yaml: + +``` +base: xena/base +repopath: github.com/Xe/test +golang: false +ssh: true +user: xena +projname: test +``` + +Right now dev is a very immature tool and currently Works For Me ™. If +you have any issues with it or questions about it, please open an issue +on its [GitHub issue +tracker](https://github.com/Xe/dev/issues/new). + +Thanks for taking a look at it and please let me know if it works for +you too! diff --git a/blog/dev-2014-10-24.md b/blog/dev-2014-10-24.md deleted file mode 100644 index 26232f6..0000000 --- a/blog/dev-2014-10-24.md +++ /dev/null @@ -1,46 +0,0 @@ ---- -title: Instant Development Environments in Docker -date: 2014-10-24 ---- - -Instant Development Environments in Docker -========================================== - -I have been using a few shell scripts for turbocharging development -using Docker and today I have released the first version of a simple -tool I call "[dev](https://github.com/Xe/dev)". Usage is very very simple. - -``` -$ dev up -Starting up container for spike -spike-dev (43c5c1) running! -To use this container please attach to it with: - $ docker attach spike-dev -$ docker attach spike-dev -docker:dev:spike ~ ---> -``` - -I have made a simple [asciinema -recording](https://asciinema.org/a/13158) describing the process of setting up and tearing down -these containers. The development environments have the code you are -working on mounted to \~/dev in the container. - -The containers are defined by a simple manifest file in yaml: - -``` -base: xena/base -repopath: github.com/Xe/test -golang: false -ssh: true -user: xena -projname: test -``` - -Right now dev is a very immature tool and currently Works For Me ™. If -you have any issues with it or questions about it, please open an issue -on its [GitHub issue -tracker](https://github.com/Xe/dev/issues/new). - -Thanks for taking a look at it and please let me know if it works for -you too! diff --git a/blog/fear-07-24-2018.markdown b/blog/fear-07-24-2018.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..fd315b4 --- /dev/null +++ b/blog/fear-07-24-2018.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,155 @@ +--- +title: Fear +date: 2018-07-24 +thanks: CelestialBoon, no really this guy is amazing and doesn't get enough credit, I'm so grateful for him. +for: Twilight Sparkle +--- + +# Fear + +_I must not fear._ +_Fear is the mind-killer._ +_Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration._ +_I will face my fear._ +_I will permit it to pass over me and through me._ +_And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path._ +_Where the fear has gone there will be nothing._ +_Only I will remain._ + +Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear - From Frank Herbert's Dune Book Series + +Fear sucks. Fear is an emotion that I’ve spent a lot of time encountering and it has spent a lot of time paralyzing me. Fear is something that everyone faces at some level. Personally, I’ve been dealing a lot with the fear of being outcast for being Other. + +What is Other? Other are the people who don't want to "fit in". Other are the people who go against the grain of society. They don't care about looking different or crazy. Other are the people who see reality for what it really is and decide that they can no longer serve to maintain it; then take steps to reshape it. + +But why do we have this fear emotion? Fear is almost the base instinct of survival. Fear bypasses the higher centers in order to squeeze decisions through that prevent something deadly from happening. Fear is a paralyzing emotion. Fear is something that stops you in your tracks. Fear is preventative. + +Except that's not completely true. We see that we have moved away from the need for survival on a constant daily basis, yet our sense of fear is still tuned for that. Fear pervades almost everyone's daily lives at some level, down to how people post things on social media. We all have these little nagging fears that add up; the intrusive negative thoughts; some have the phobias, the anxieties, the panic attacks. +One fear in particular, that I call the separation/isolation/displacement fear, is a fear with many social repercussions. It's a fear that urges us to keep continuity of self, to avoid "standing out", to keep discussion away from particular topics (like the spiritual, for many). It keeps us wary of what others could do to us. It makes us feel small in a world that is, at best, neutral in our regards. + +If there was ever something that gave us an advantage as a species about fear, it's clear to see it's currently corrupting the lives of many innocent people for no seemingly good reason. There are alternatives to fear with regards to handling one's inner and outer lives, and they are out there, but fear keeps making itself known and dominating the perceptions of the collective. Sometimes the alternatives to fear, themselves, are feared even stronger. + +So how to make sense of this? + +Sometimes it helps to see things from a fresh point of view, and sometimes stories is what manage to accomplish that best. They are ways to explore new situations in a way that doesn't strain disbelief as severely, so that new perspectives can be collected from faraway thoughtscapes. + +A myth is a story that helps explain something beyond the mere scenes presented, in the context of it using the divine as actors. To help explain how these fears can be difficult to overcome, or even put a label to, I've found a story that will seem fantastical to many; however, the point of a story is not to be seen as truth, but merely to be heard, and to be collected, and to enrich the listener with its metaphors. + +In Sumerian mythology, Anu was their Zeus, their sun and creator god. Their mighty god of justice that would one day fly down on a cloud and deliver humanity to righteousness. Sumerians believe their sun god Anu created their civilization as a gift to them. In some myths, the creation goes quite deeper, and darker, than that. + +--- + +Imagine for a moment, an infinite universe of light and sound, of primordial vibrations. Vibrations that permeate the whole of existence, and create different experiences with their patterns of interference. The holographic universe. +In such a place, everything is resonance of waves, everything all-encompassing, everything infinite, everything eternal. + +And living in such a place are infinite beings, without beginning of end, not bound by space or time, as boundless as the waves they experience. Sovereign beings of grand destinies. And those beings colonized the Universe, explored its facets, its resonances, its properties, its behaviours. + +Among such beings, so equal in their infinitude, some of them desired to experience creation in a new way; no longer just as dominion over the Universe, but over other beings in it as well. The desire to be looked up to, to be feared, to be revered. The new concept of godhood took shape. + +To achieve this, this group of beings asked another civilization for help; they were all beings of vast reaches and etheric nature, but they claimed to need the gold hidden within the surface of a densifying planet called Earth, which they were not attuned to, and unable to fully interact with in their current forms. To do this, they would need physical bodies, meat uniforms that the civilization's inhabitants would don and power up, so that they could interact with the ground, and the mineral. + +For convenience of telling, we'll call the group of deceivers the Anunnaki, and the deceived civilization the Atlanteans. + +The Anunnaki had carefully devised this meat uniform, the newly devised human body, planned about it for an exceedingly long time, in order to completely entrap the Atlanteans. The Atlanteans themselves accepted the task because they had no conception that infinite beings could ever be limited or subjugated. It had never happened before. And in the donning of the uniforms, the trap was sprung. + +Those uniforms, the human bodies, constricted the Atlanteans' attention to only what the body could perceive with its senses; it urged them to survive and to work; it distracted them from all other activities; it rendered them slaves to the mining. Every part of the construct was forcing them to forget who they were, and instead making them focus on their identity as human bodies. +And when such bodies would expire, a part of them would still remain to keep the beings trapped, and they would be put in a space of holding in the astral realms, for them to be assigned a new body to continue mining. + +Through the human body, the Atlanteans were subjected to a carefully constructed illusion, fed to them by the senses, through the mind, that left them unable to perceive, to remember, anything else but the illusion. + +With time, many shortcomings of the primitive human bodies were corrected; from being clones that needed to be produced by the Anunnaki, they were given capability to reproduce; more independent thought and awareness was allowed, and ability to self- and group-organize; they were starting to be allowed to feel emotions; more and more, their world was being expanded, but with it, the structure of the mind system that contained their perception to the realms of the physical and astral, and prevented them to gain awareness of what was outside this narrow band of illusory perception, was developed and expanded in turn. Layers upon layers were put between those beings and the realization of their true, infinite selves. + +The system of death and reincarnation was automated so beings would be recycled in a systematic manner into their next lives. +The concept of God was introduced to them, so that they would fear punishment and retribution from something that they perceived as greater than them; and Anu, leader of the Anunnaki, manifested to the people of Earth as a supreme being of infinite power, so they could adore him, and so they could fear him. +Language developed, a system of communication mired in separation, in division of concepts and the rigidness of categorization, so that they would not be able to speak to one another of their own infinity, of their unity with the whole. +Fears of all kinds were injected into the mind system: fear of death, fear of nothingness, fear of punishment; but above all, fear of separation: the fear of not having the vital connection that makes us One, and that allows us to know and understand one another innately. The fear of not being understood, of not being accepted, of not being received, of not being helped, of not being supported. The fear that had kept them doubting one another, and kept them from uniting their efforts. + +The Anunnaki took away the ability for the Atlanteans to even know they were Atlanteans. They took away the ability for them to even be able to get close to finding out. Just so Anu could be an absolute ruler. The first to ever have done this previously impossible task. + +Myths were disseminated to keep people awash with fear of punishment, and mired in the guilt of their original sin, and distrusting, doubting of the nature of their own selves, and of their fellow neighbors'. Hierarchies were set up, so people would focus on controlling one another, instead of working together to liberate all. Not needing any more, the Anunnaki allowed the focus on gold to become greed, so that people would put desire for a mere metal above the needs of their fellow beings. + +As the Anunnaki departed from the densifying planet, which was not allowing them to manifest as etheric beings anymore, tracks were set up in the collective unconscious so that while they were away, the people's societies would evolve through predefined paths, and would eventually set up for the glorious return of God, the Apocalypse. + +Every single possible obstacle had been put in place so that the Atlanteans would never realize who they had been, and who they always were: infinite, sovereign beings, connected to the whole of the Universe. + +Except this would not be allowed indefinitely. Other infinite beings became aware of such deception taking place, and realized it was being exported into other planets, and such an enslavement paradigm, based in fear and separation, was a degenerative, infecting force that had to be stopped. So the Anunnaki were prevented return, and in order to make it so that infinite beings would be able to never fall prey to such deceptions again, the seeds of destruction were planted inside the programming system of the human mind. Cracks were introduced to the barriers that kept people under deception, so that they could peer through them, and see the other side beyond the walls of the labyrinth. Pathways were provided so that people could be lead to the discovery of their true selves, and their eventual liberation from the deception, and self-realization as infinite beings, once again. +The very liberation that the programming was designed to prevent through all means conceivable. + +And that leaves us to the present time. + +Sometimes the Other manages to find these cracks and go through them into the other side. They go to this other side and see a faint reflection of what is really out there. The world outside this world. An even bigger Infinity. They have trouble describing it. They have intense fear even thinking about it. They're afraid to acknowledge it to their peers. They want to help people but they are utterly terrified of their reactions. + +They're terrified that someone might hurt them if they say anything about their experiences. They're worried someone might try to hospitalize them for their beliefs. They get it into their head that they aren't able to function in society, so they don't. They don't want to mine the gold. They don't want to serve the economy of the few. They don't want to maintain the hierarchies. +They want to detach themselves from the systems that they feel are suppressing them. They want to help people save themselves from believing that their own finite existence is all that there is, but that fear utterly paralyzes them. They have trouble finding the words. They end up misphrasing things in ways that make the problem worse. Some lash out. Some get labels put on them. + +These Other just want to be accepted like everyone else. They want to help their communities. They want to use their abilities to read between the lines, into the bigger picture; to do good things; but they are, ultimately, afraid to. Their fear of separation paralyzes them. People don't like them talking about spiritual topics. These Other just want to be accepted and use their experience to lovingly help guide and shape reality into what they think is a better place. Even as they struggle through the fear. + +Who's really the crazy one? The one who fear controls, or the one who doesn't let fear control them? + +How does the Other live with fear surrounding their actions, and doubt plaguing their decisions? + +They can have people they can trust. They can have people who can help them deal with their doubts. They can have the strength of their determination to find the truth, and the resolve to put an end to the suffering of their fellow beings. But they still fear, and they still doubt. + +The real difference is that they see fear as something imposed on them, not as a voice that they must always answer to, and not as something they need to wait hand and foot for, every day of their existence. In a way, they have been fed up with fear, getting tired of it and casting it out like the nuisance they now see it to be. Even if the fear was added there because of some programming of their mind, something that happened to them to make them afraid, even if they don't know where it comes from or why, they still acknowledge it, and reject it, and move on like the emotion never happened. They keep fighting for understanding, and for community. They refuse to give fear dominion in their lives, even if they sometimes fail at it. + +It's such an easy and obvious thing to do that we could all do it, if we weren't so afraid of it. + +--- + +I leave you with this quote from a book named Quantusum: + +``` +Uncle suddenly scooped down with his hand and brought up a closed hand. He then +brought it to a glass box that stood on a pedestal I hadn’t noticed. He slid one +of the box’s glass planes open and placed an insect inside. It looked like a +grasshopper. “This creature lives its entire life in these fields without +limitation. I just ended that.” + +I watched as the grasshopper jumped inside the glass box hitting against the top +and some of the sides. The grasshopper stopped as if he was stunned by the new +circumstance of his environment. + +“To the grasshopper,” Uncle said, “all is well. He is alive after all. He sees +his normal environment all around him. He can’t see the glass. If I keep him +in here for a few days he will stop his jumping and become acclimated to the +dimensions of his new home. All he needs is food and water, and he can survive.” + +“So you’re saying these people are acclimated to simply survive?” + +Uncle slide one of the side panels of the glass box open. “If you were a +grasshopper, what would you do?” + +“I would jump through the open panel.” + +“But how would you know it was open? It’s perfectly clear glass.” + +I thought about it for a moment. “I’d jump in every direction… I’d experiment.” + +Uncle took a stick and pointed it at the grasshopper through the open side +panel, and the grasshopper jumped into the opposite wall, hitting his head and +falling to his side. “Do you see that I offered him an exit and he fled? He +could’ve climbed on the stick, and I would have freed him.” + +“Yes, but he doesn’t know that.” + +“True.” + +Uncle opened another side panel. “What you said is right. You experiment. You +try different ways to climb the mountain of consciousness. You don’t settle on +one way… one method… one teacher. If you devote your entire life to the worship +of one thing, what if you find out when you take your last breath that the one +thing was not real. + +“You find that you lived inside a cage all your life. You never tried to jump +out by experimenting, by testing the walls. The people who never bother to climb +this mountain are inside a cage, and they don’t know it. Fear is the glass wall. +Wakan Tanka comes and opens one of the glass panels, perhaps offers a stick for +them to climb out, but they jump away, going further inside their soul-draining +boundaries.” + +Uncle brought the stick out again and lightly jabbed it in the direction of the +grasshopper, who hopped through the open side panel, and was instantly lost in +the thick underbrush that surrounded us. + +Uncle turned his eyes to me. “Are you ready to do the same?” +``` diff --git a/blog/fear-07-24-2018.md b/blog/fear-07-24-2018.md deleted file mode 100644 index fd315b4..0000000 --- a/blog/fear-07-24-2018.md +++ /dev/null @@ -1,155 +0,0 @@ ---- -title: Fear -date: 2018-07-24 -thanks: CelestialBoon, no really this guy is amazing and doesn't get enough credit, I'm so grateful for him. -for: Twilight Sparkle ---- - -# Fear - -_I must not fear._ -_Fear is the mind-killer._ -_Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration._ -_I will face my fear._ -_I will permit it to pass over me and through me._ -_And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path._ -_Where the fear has gone there will be nothing._ -_Only I will remain._ - -Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear - From Frank Herbert's Dune Book Series - -Fear sucks. Fear is an emotion that